７月２日 Day 99: Alcatraz

Sorry this is WAY late, but I've been too busy with final projects, essays, field trips and fun to be updating this blog...

I've also been ducking the rainy season like a NINJA. Thanks, new leopard boots!! ^w^

Last Friday, my friends and I went to Alcatraz, a prison style bar in Shibuya. We had been to this other bar called Lock-Up the week before, which was a bar that looked like a jail, where the prisoners/waiters scared the crap out of you while you were eating.

Alcatraz wasn't like that. It was supposed to be kinda...

*Please note that this post has an 18 and over requirement from this point on*

...kinky.

We were a big group... about 16 of us, and we ordered the all-you-can-eat and all-you-can-drink courses. The courses had some very memorable highlights. We had Russian Roulette takoyaki, which was a plate of about 20 takoyaki... but 5 of them had tons of wasabi in them. I hate wasabi, so of course, I picked one with wasabi in it. Blegh. Straight up my nose. (X_X)

We also had a flaming chicken, complete with intertwined chicken feet... which I totally didn't expect (Like, srsly? Are we in China? Dirty!)

Yes, here are the waitress uniforms. Exposed thongs. Note the guys in our group... haha ;)

The place had some pretty spiffy drinks, I must say.

Test tube drink.

Some really cheap beer in test tubes.

My penis banana drink... and my other friend's drink... that was mixed with (if you haven't guessed already) a vibrator.

We all got pretty hammered... and took drunken purikura.

５月２９日 Day 65: FML

God, today was just all kids of fail.

I guess it all started last night err-- really early this morning. My dorm mates and I were all pretty sloshed, and decided to make a massage train after a long night of low budget drinking courtesy of Circle K and McDonald's. What seemed to be a nice, relaxing, and likely one of the most surreal experiences of my life ended up being the most painfully rude awakening this morning.

Since I'm always the one giving massages rather than receiving them, my shoulders were in complete and total agony from actually being attended to... and I was slightly hungover, which didn't help things. -___-;;

Then I got a haircut. Going to the salon was fun-- I spoke nothing but Japanese, got my gray roots covered and was talking shop with a lot of the girls, explaining how there are only 2 months left in my trip with sooo much left to do. They all seemed so nice and understanding, telling me places I had to see before I left and how much better my Japanese has gotten, yada, yada, yada. More like...イヤーだ！I must have dropped some sort of bomb that caused THIS to happen:

God dammit, I look like a freakin' soccer mom. I'm praying that it looks better when it's wavy-- and doesn't make me look like a drive a minivan. I look like I'm 20, going on 40. GAWD.

I think I said something along the lines of,

Me: My friends from out of town are coming tomorrow, I want to show them how "Japanese-y" I look.

Hairstylist: What do you mean, "Japanese-y?"

Me: Well you know, cute and fashionable.

Hairstylist: *Bwahahaha... foolish kid thinking she's knows what it means to look Japanese...* cough cough I know exactly what you mean!!

Or something like that. Nah, just kidding. They were really nice, but it's COMPLETELY different from the picture I had shown them which looked something like this:

Ugh. Whatever. As the Japanese would say, しかたがない。Shikata ga nai. It can't be helped.

After that amazingness, I went to $hibuya and decided to go aimlessly wandering around for a while since it was about 1:30 and all the rest of my friends were still sleeping off their chu-hai and beers. Plus, there are only 2 months here and I've basically gotten myself into a painfully predictable groove of going to the Sendagaya Flee Market or Shimokitazawa every Saturday and cleaning my room and doing homework on Sundays (and you all thought I was blowing off this blog because I was doing something interesting...)

First, I went to Loft, my favorite "everything" store. It really makes me feel comforted looking at their beautifully designed furnishings and housewares. Shit-- this hairdo might be more fitting than I'd like to admit... Anyway! I bought some new green headphones because I thought my old ones were broken. Turns out, my iPod is what's broken, not the headphones. So not only did I waste money, I found out my iPod only plays music in my left ear! YAY.

Then I went into Shibuya 109, hoping to finally have the stamina to see all 9 floors of frilly, overpriced goodness. Got through 6 floors and 70 bucks and decided to call it quits.

It's weird how many boater hats I tried on today. Of course, none of them fit really well, and of course, they all looked terrible on me because I'm not a brown-haired 60lb Japanese girl in a floral romper and a jean jacket. But somehow... I wanted one. It's really weird how seeing everyone wearing something makes you want it... and it'll be something you'd NEVER wear-- like this flippin' boater hat.

Click this to make it bigger.

Another thing I can't stand about Japan is how you basically get bullied into buying things with kindness. People are so nice to you, so flattering and so accommodating, that it's basically impossible to say no once they've caught you gawking at something. In these types of situations, my friend Jordan simply says, 高すぎる(taka sugiru) "It's too expensive," and just walk off. I admire her complete shamelessness. And her spine.

Today, this really nice (slightly cross-eyed?) girl saw me eyeing a lacy 60's looking top. The conversation basically went like this:

Wonky-Eyed Shop Girl: Irasshaimase~

Me: . . . *touches cute top*

Wonky-Eyed Shop Girl: Do you like it? We just got it! It looks just like what you're wearing right now. You have such a cute style. It goes with your leggings. I'm wearing the same one in pink! I'm wearing it as a dress, but you're taller than me so you can probably wear it as a shirt! And since summer's coming soon, it'll be perfect! You should try it on! What color would you like? Pink? White? Navy? You're already wearing Navy~ is that your style!? Is that your favorite color?! It's cute, isn't it?!

Me: . . . yes, it is cute.

Wonky-Eyed Shop Girl: Oooooh you should try it on, I can tell it's your style!

Me: . . . Well . . .

Wonky-Eyed Shop Girl: The fitting room JUST opened up! You can try it on now!

Me: . . . Well . . . ok.

In the dressing room.

Me: Goddammit, how the flip am I going to get out of buying this?

Wonky-Eyed Shop Girl: How does it look, oh honorable customer??

Me: Uhhh...

Wonky-Eyed Shop Girl: Let me look at it.

Me: *Hesitantly opens the curtain*

Wonky-Eyed Shop Girl: (*≧▽≦) KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~ KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIII~!!!!!!!

Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Well, here's the shirt that goes along with this awesome story:

Yes, it's hanging from my water heater controls. I'm in college and am getting increasingly more broke by the minute. Don't judge me.

Beautiful craftsmanship... better be for frickin' $60...

Well, at least I have an outfit to meet the Inouyes with.

( ・_・)

４月１４日 Day 21: The Busiest Starbucks in the World

Wow. 3 years of graphic design, and this is how I showcase the Busiest Starbucks in the World? DON'T JUDGE ME!

My friends and I went to Shibuya after a rather short but taxing day of Japanese class. We visited Loft (aka Mecca) for some necessities and school supplies and did some window shopping and purikura afterwards. Then we went to THE BUSIEST STARBUCKS IN THE WORLD.

It actually wasn't that busy. I suspect it was probably busier than most for 5 pm on a Wednesday, however-- they had people monitoring the line like they were club bouncers. They take their jobs very seriously, those bouncer/baristas. They're also bi-lingual, verifying orders in both English and Japanese. That Starbucks was basically like the Japanese United Nations.

The woman that helped me out wore thick-rimmed glasses like me, and all black with a microphone, earpiece, and the standard green Starbucks apron. It is my belief that anyone wielding a microphone/earpiece has a completely warped sense of power-- this woman definitely lives up to this conception. After asking for my order in line, she wrote it down on a piece of paper and shouted it to the people making the coffee, so naturally, I thought it was my turn to pay. She grabbed me by the shoulders and shouted, "NO! STOP."

o_O WOAH LADY-- TAKE A CHILLAXATIVE.

Her completely curt 'tude almost ruined my green tea frappuchino... but it was so delicious, I forgot all about her earpiece/microphone/thick-rimmed glasses God-complex and just enjoyed my uniquely Japanese beverage.

I'm really sad they discontinued this drink in the states.

The rest of the building was pretty awesome as well. The first floor is the Busiest Starbucks in the world while the next 4 floors are DVD, CD, and TV show rental places where drinking and browsing are allowed.

*Cultural Note:

In Japan, you do NOT drink or eat while you walk. You MUST sit down. Be it at a table, on some steps, in an alley, or on the sidewalk-- YOU SIT THE EFF DOWN. So, simultaneously eating and browsing inside of a store is a novelty and a privilege in every sense of the word. I used it to my full advantage, casually sipping my green frapp while I perused the isles of dramas and used CD's. Despite the huge signs that said, "DRINKING AND BROWSING...OK!" I still got a few scornful glances from some natives. Whatever, haters gon' hate. It's allowed!

**Other Cultural Note:

Eating, drinking, and talking (even while sitting) on the train are also HUGE no-no's. There are some girls at my dorm who completely ignore this fact. Every morning on the rush hour train, they munch and chug their breakfast while hee-ing and haw-ing like the loud, annoying American asses they are. Luckily, my classes don't start until after rush hour, so I don't have to endure their complete disregard for Japanese etiquette. My poor friends that can't avoid riding with them are forced to put in their headphones, grin and bear it-- but I think they should say something soon or else they're going to throw those stupid girls in front of the train...