４月１７日 Day 24: Meccas for the Shoharas

It's really too bad I don't have enough money to ship back all the ADORABLE furniture and housewares I find here. I've been to 3 new stores that make me want to redecorate my entire apartment. I feel like I see my family in all of these stores.

MUJI is basically the love child of Ikea and J.Jill. It has basic, loose fitting, peasant-style, neutral, linen clothing and modern, and streamlined minimalist dishes, pencils, notebooks, towels, sheets, cooking accessories, make-up etc. AND IT'S CHEAP. Holy balls it was cheap. It's a store that my Auntie Aj would LOVE for its simplicity, it's neutral tones, and thriftiness.

FRANC FRANC is a store my Auntie Sue would like. It mixes modern bold patterns with technologically advanced and sleek living necessities. Things in there are colorful and bold but still understated. They have REALLY cute aprons, dishes, oven mits, and cooking utensils. All the extra features these things have make Japanese housewives (and me) go, "EEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH?!?"

Tokyu Hands is a place my mother would love because it's a flippin' rat maze. It has EVERYTHING, on multiple, horribly-designed and hard-to-navigate levels. It's easy to get completely immersed in the overwhelming organization of the whole place. Unless you know what you're looking for, you could spend your life in there. Ergo, it's perfect for you, Mom.

I miss you all. I hope you'll come here to see me, or to see these stores. You'd love them.

４月１５日 Day 22: Ice Breakers

So I'm basically used to my Japanese class dynamic. My other classes, not so much.

My Religion and Society in Japan class sucks. The professor is speaking English, but her wording honestly makes NO SENSE. It might as well be in Portuguese. I'm basically in the class because it's only requirement is attendance, 1 class presentation and a final essay. It will kill my theology credit for school. I hope.

My Contemporary Japanese Culture class is SUPER fun though; I can tell I'm really going to like it. Sensei started the class by asking us about the stereotypes, "What stereotypes do you see in Japanese people or in Japanese culture?" Most of the volunteers gave really general answers.

"They don't like outsiders."

"They're homogeneous."

"They're polite."

"They all work really hard."

"They go crazy for trends."

"They have access to a lot of technology."

The only really interesting one I really heard was, "Japanese people aren't very direct. They sort of expect you to figure out what they're talking about, and they're not confrontational."

I was completely baffled as to why no one mentioned how INSANE Japanese people are. What about all the socially deviant things that make people come to Japan in the first place? What about everything I read about in my Naturalism in Japanese Literature class?! What about the penis festivals I've been to and ass-shaped pillows I've seen at multiple stores? In an attempt to be direct and confrontational, I queried,

"Uh, isn't it a very sexually repressed culture?"

The 150 person lecture erupted in laughter/nervously honest giggles. My professor said quite sincerely, "You know, there's a whole class about sex in Japan. If that's what you'd like to study, you can take a whole class on it!"

I felt like a total perv, but dammit, it needed to be said.

４月１４日 Day 21: The Busiest Starbucks in the World

Wow. 3 years of graphic design, and this is how I showcase the Busiest Starbucks in the World? DON'T JUDGE ME!

My friends and I went to Shibuya after a rather short but taxing day of Japanese class. We visited Loft (aka Mecca) for some necessities and school supplies and did some window shopping and purikura afterwards. Then we went to THE BUSIEST STARBUCKS IN THE WORLD.

It actually wasn't that busy. I suspect it was probably busier than most for 5 pm on a Wednesday, however-- they had people monitoring the line like they were club bouncers. They take their jobs very seriously, those bouncer/baristas. They're also bi-lingual, verifying orders in both English and Japanese. That Starbucks was basically like the Japanese United Nations.

The woman that helped me out wore thick-rimmed glasses like me, and all black with a microphone, earpiece, and the standard green Starbucks apron. It is my belief that anyone wielding a microphone/earpiece has a completely warped sense of power-- this woman definitely lives up to this conception. After asking for my order in line, she wrote it down on a piece of paper and shouted it to the people making the coffee, so naturally, I thought it was my turn to pay. She grabbed me by the shoulders and shouted, "NO! STOP."

o_O WOAH LADY-- TAKE A CHILLAXATIVE.

Her completely curt 'tude almost ruined my green tea frappuchino... but it was so delicious, I forgot all about her earpiece/microphone/thick-rimmed glasses God-complex and just enjoyed my uniquely Japanese beverage.

I'm really sad they discontinued this drink in the states.

The rest of the building was pretty awesome as well. The first floor is the Busiest Starbucks in the world while the next 4 floors are DVD, CD, and TV show rental places where drinking and browsing are allowed.

*Cultural Note:

In Japan, you do NOT drink or eat while you walk. You MUST sit down. Be it at a table, on some steps, in an alley, or on the sidewalk-- YOU SIT THE EFF DOWN. So, simultaneously eating and browsing inside of a store is a novelty and a privilege in every sense of the word. I used it to my full advantage, casually sipping my green frapp while I perused the isles of dramas and used CD's. Despite the huge signs that said, "DRINKING AND BROWSING...OK!" I still got a few scornful glances from some natives. Whatever, haters gon' hate. It's allowed!

**Other Cultural Note:

Eating, drinking, and talking (even while sitting) on the train are also HUGE no-no's. There are some girls at my dorm who completely ignore this fact. Every morning on the rush hour train, they munch and chug their breakfast while hee-ing and haw-ing like the loud, annoying American asses they are. Luckily, my classes don't start until after rush hour, so I don't have to endure their complete disregard for Japanese etiquette. My poor friends that can't avoid riding with them are forced to put in their headphones, grin and bear it-- but I think they should say something soon or else they're going to throw those stupid girls in front of the train...

４月１３日 Day 20: First Day of School pt.2

I had my other 2 classes today: Religion and Society in Japan and Contemporary Japanese Culture. My professor of Religion and Society in Japan is an older woman whose face really reminds me of the grandma from Totoro.

Unlike Granny though, she pushes her head forward, juts her jaw out, and stutters when she talks. She also closes her eyes when she thinks. Every so often, she's able to successfully complete a sentence that scares the crap out of you. For instance, when going over the syllabus she said, "Th-th-th-the Japanese people believe in dif-dif-dif-different k-kami which ar-ar-are almost like d-d-d-dieties. They are not like Christian God."

My professor for Contemporary Japanese Culture is named Nana Oishi. Yeah, that's right. Oishi. Like delicious (that's how my friends remember her). One thing that bothered me about her self-introduction was that she referred to herself as "Nahnuh", pronouncing her name like "banana" using a flat A sound. Not cool, considering she was born and raised in Japan. Anyway, the woman was really animated about the syllabus and must have talked for about 20 minutes about the joys of motherhood (we're talking about gender empowerment in a few weeks, so I guess that's what sparked that crazy pre-menopausal rant). It's mothers like her that raise Japanese men to be so inadequate. ANYWAY-- I DIGRESS. The class sounds really fun and I'm excited to learn all about Japanese society... heh.

Every day, I learn more and more about the social life at school. For instance, today I learned that while all the cafeterias on campus serve relatively the same food (for dirt cheap) each one caters to a different demographic. The Building 2 cafeteria is called "The Terrace" because it has a breathtaking 360 view of the greater Tokyo area. It's the only cafeteria located above ground on the 5th floor. It's probably the most diverse and popular cafeteria on campus, full of both Westerners and Japanese people. I think all the hot chicks on campus eat there because it's got all the dainty ice cream type dishes that they decide to substitute for lunch.

Building 11's cafeteria is where all the jocks hang out. LITERALLY. It's like high school! All the sports teams hang out their in their letterman jackets and act obnoxious as they watch shiai on their cell phone TVs. Other people eat there because the food is probably the best on campus... and they have a soft-serve ice cream machine *drool*

Building 9's cafeteria is probably the best kept secret on campus. None of the gaijin foreign exchange kids know about it... 'cept me! ;) I've met a new friend, Kana, and she took me to this exclusive caf! It's got a bomb bakery, which adds an element of deliciousness to the fact that you don't have to listen to people who want "the tun-CAT-soo-ker-ray." EVERYONE is Japanese, is speaking Japanese, and is just normal... I can see why they would retreat to that particular cafeteria, it's really hidden because it's in the basement! It's also free of all the anime/manga Japanophiles who are looking to meet a hot Japanese girl.

４月１２日 Day 19: First Day of School

First day of school and the weather SUCKED. It was about 7 degrees (44 degrees F for us Americans), raining with super strong wind. I feel like I'm living in Seattle or something!!

Other than that though, the 2 classes I had today were pretty fun! I had my Japanese class and Anthropology of Japan-- crazy! My Japanese professor is a lovely little woman named Omori-sensei. She's got Cleopatra bangs and a little bob hair-do. She reminds me of a young Tsai Chin, circa You Only Live Twice.

Her voice is very raspy at the moment because she caught a cold from staying out late doing Hanami! HA! I can already tell I'm going to like her. The class wasted no time, we dove right into a lesson, and I learned a new structure, "〜ばかり。" Which means "I just did something."

I feel like the class is really good for me. It's literally picking up where my last class left off. It meets every day for 1 1/2 hours so it's not too overwhelming either. One thing that I have to get used to using is Keigo (honorific language). I've never really used or heard it before (my family's waaaay to casual for that) so it's really hard for me to remember all the different versions of the verbs. I'm sure Omori-sensei will teach me well though! Soon I'll be formal enough to hang out with Masako-sama in the looney bin!

My next class was Anthropology of Japan. The class was PACKED-- probably around 80-100 people in it, my biggest lecture ever! The professor was a bald American man with a lisp. He was very eccentric too, and was completely hilarious, but I'm actually not going to take the class though because it sounds too group oriented. I hate classes where I'm forced to depend on the efforts of others; I can never trust them! Plus, I'm taking another anthropology-type class called Contemporary Japanese Culture (way more fun, and NO GROUP PROJECTS!).

The classes are fun, but the in's and out's of the school are also pretty amazing. There's one main path down the campus, and it's better known as "The Catwalk" because all the girls strut down it in their high heels and short skirts. The girls here are all so fashionable, pretty and just... dressed to the nine's EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Isn't it exhausting looking that beautiful all the time?! It makes the gaijin really easy to spot out in their sweatshirts and jeans. Guess I won't be wearing those for a while!

４月１１日 Day 18: Okonomiyaki!

So today, I slept in until 2pm. Yep, that's right: 2pm. I've NEVER done that before. Who thought gay clubbing would be so draining??

I had just enough time to put on my make up and meet my friend Kana for dinner. I haven't seen her since high school so I was really glad we got to have a reunion in Japan! Before we ate, we went to this awesome store called Loft! Talk about Mecca. Loft is like Donkey Hote, but way classier. It's full of cute apartment necessities, furniture, and other day-to-day stuff. They had a HUGE stationary section, so I was slightly relieved that mom hadn't discovered this place while she was here...

I got a little bell for my keys (so I don't lose them) and it came with this free bento-bag! Please read the Engrish on this thing...

"Isn't he somewhat resemble your cat?!"

I also bought this cute Rilakkuma phone charm. In Japan, it's completely unacceptable to NOT have something (if not many things) dangling from your phone. It's like, the only way you can express your identity...

Wonder what mine says about me? Haha.

Then I had Okonomiyaki for the first time at this place called Gottsui in Shibuya!

Okonomiyaki is a dish from Kansai and it tastes like heaven. It's basically a grilled cabbage-y pancake. One of ours had yakisoba and yamaimo in it! Okonomiyaki is covered with a sweet sauce (sort of similar to tonkatsu sauce), but the whole thing tastes pretty savory. It's the perfect combination of the Japanese palette! It was so filling, I can't believe we ordered two of them! If you've never had okonomiyaki, TRY IT! I can't believe I've survived 20 years without it!

After that, Kana and I decided to claim our inner FOBs and went to do purikura! Purikura is like a photobooth... on crack. In America, photobooths are tiny cramped little boxes that let you take 4 different pictures using 4 different facial expressions. That's it. In Japan, you have a HUGE space (enough to lay on your side). You take 6 pictures, using 6 different angles, positions, poses, lighting, and backgrounds and then after you're done taking them you get to DECORATE THEM! The technology is so advanced now that you can even choose one of the pictures to e-mail to your phone!

A few things I found unnerving: 1.) The photobooth automatically increased the size of our eyes. 2.) One of the booths we went to gave us FREE fake eyelashes! WTF?! I think they just automatically assume that everyone in the booth wants their eyes to look bigger and more doll-like. It's the weirdest frickin' thing I've ever seen because my eyes aren't that small... so I looked like a bug in a few of the photos! O_O

First day of school tomorrow! Nervous/excited... wish me luck!

４月１０日 Day 17: Wallflowers

Today, I went to a club in Shinjuku-nichome, Tokyo's gay district.

My friend really wanted to go check it out, so 3 of my girlfriends and I went as his beard. They had gone before me because I was eating dinner with my other friend. Trying to find this place was one HELL of an excursion. My friend said to turn left at the "Megane" sign at the Shinjuku central exit and that the club would be on the 2nd street on the right.

YEAH RIGHT!

My friend and I had to go to a different train station, walk to the farthest exit, then walk 3 circles around the place until we found OTHER gaijin gays to ask directions to the damn club (which looked like a hole-in-the-wall barber shop btw). Thank God these nice guys took us straight to the place because lord knows I saw about 4 effing "Megane" signs.

The place was basically a bar with a dance floor. We got there at about 10:15 which is WAYY early for any club: gay or straight, Japanese or American. WHO GOES OUT THAT EARLY? It's ok though because my friend wanted to go out that early, so I had to be supportive. When you go out in Japan, you have to make a decision for how long you plan to stay out in the beginning of the night. You have two choices: a.) go out early and take the last train (around midnight) home or b.) leave on the last train and come back on the first train at 5am. I chose A, but still managed to wake up at 2pm this morning.

The cover charge was only 1 ¥700 drink, so that was nice. There were lots of gay Japanese guys there, but none of them were dancing. They were all just standing against the wall watching all the gaijin gays and their fag hags dance obnoxiously to the bad music they were playing.

I've never heard such lame music being played at a club. I just kept thinking, "Uhh, they're gay-- just play a shitload of GaGa and Britney mixes with plenty of bass and unce unce unce and you've got yourselves a good time." That wasn't the case. They played a lot of 9th grade high school dance music: Nelly, Shakira, Black Eyed Peas and other crap that wasn't gay enough. They also didn't really MIX the songs, they just played them all the way through, which totally bored me. Who wants to listen to a song all the way through at a club?!

However, the party started building up at around 11 when more people arrived and the DJ saw it fitting to finally play some Lady GaGa. That was also around the time that the gay Japanese guys got drunk enough to start dancing with us, red faces and all.

A lesson I learned tonight: Gay Japanese guys are completely indistinguishable from straight Japanese guys. I know a lot of you reading this are probably thinking, "DUH, all Japanese guys dress like femmes." But there weren't just femmes there! There were REALLY butch looking guys there in their version of Japanese thug wear! It was the weirdest thing. Gay is still really taboo in Japan. It's complicated because it's simultaneously tolerated and not tolerated. Just like in America! There's a gay district, there's a gay pride parade, I just got back from a penis festival-- but being gay is by no means ok to most Japanese people. It's weird.

I would think the host club guys that hang around in Kabukicho are gayer than the guys I saw in the club. But they're not. Girls actually desire guys who look girlier than them. Like these guys!

They were prowling around the streets trying to get girls to come sit at their table. SICK!

More about that later, I'm late for dinner with my friend :)